Spudlets

Oldest boy turned 10 on April 8.  One of his presents was tickets to a Skillet concert.  They are wrapping up the “Comatose” tour, and after having to sit through it I’m still shaking off some of the comatosity myself.  Yes, I volunteered to take him to Charlotte for the show.  On Sunday after church we loaded up at the local Taco Bell and then headed down the road to Cricket Arena.

It was a 7:30 pm show.  We thought we needed to be there a few hours early to beat the crowds for a good seat as it was general admission seating.  When we got there at 2 pm, there were a few dozen people in line, so we dinked around town (since it was an hour and a half drive back home).  After about an hour we returned and things had not really changed.  I found a shady spot to sit down and read the paper while the boy explored around the outside of the auditorium.

By 3:30 we decided to stand in line, hoping they’d open the doors at 5:30.  They did not open until 6:30, making it a solid three hours of standing on a concrete walk.  We were able to get 4th row seats, and the total attendance may have reached a thousand.  Maybe.  I suppose that’s why they were in no hurry to open up the doors any earlier.

The first band, Decypher Down, had a lead and rhythym guitarist as well as a bass player, but you could not pick out anything “musical” beyond the crunch chords and pounding beat.  While these bands were billed as Christian, you could not discern that from the lyrics as they were unintelligible.  They did give a brief witness/praise at the end, so that was something.

Oh yeah … thank God for earplugs!!  The next band, Thousand Foot Krutch, was slightly better musically with one less guitarist, and you could make out a few more words, but otherwise it was more of the same.  I got to the point where I almost nodded off a few times in spite of the high volume, as the sound waves were numbing me to sleep.  Since I was looking forward to a long drive at night after the show, I decided to gut it out.

The youngster owns the recent Skillet CD (Comatose), and we naturally had to play it on the way to the show - it’s tradition.  I was familiar with some of the songs, and even got up out of my chair for a few of them.  They were fairly accomplished musicians, and I was able to pick up more (but not much) of the lyrics.  A few of the songs featured a cello player, something you usually don’t see at a “rock” show.

The boy enjoyed all of the bands, particularly Skillet.  He slept most of the way back, and by the grace of God I was able to make it without any nodding-off on the drive home.  We got back at 12:30, giving me a total of 16 hours wearing the same clothes/shoes.  I was the only one dressed there (in khakis and polo shirt) who looked like they came from church, but that’s OK as I was playing the “Dad chaperone” mode.

What struck me the most at the show were the “yutes”, as I don’t normally spend much time with teenagers.  Some had a “worldly” appearance, tattoes and piercings, and most wore black t-shirts and jeans or shorts.  Many of the t-shirts were ones with clever Christian messages, or ones from other Christian concerts.  I shouldn’t have been, but I was a little surprised to see the girls rocking along with the guys.  While some may call it Christian rock (and roll?), it was heavy metal.  I’ve been to enough of those shows (30 years ago - yikes!) to know it when I see it.

It’s the age-old question of how far do you go in the world and not be of the world.  The yutes have a tough time trying to fit in yet (hopefully) honoring the Lord, so I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt.  It didn’t look like the mosh pit was out-of control, so that was good.  I still wrestle with the concept of Christian heavy metal as it doesn’t seem to be a “joyful noise”, but the kids seemed pretty happy during the show.  Chalk it up to old-fartness.

[And the boy did say thank you when we got home - without prompting!  There is hope ...]

About a month ago it looked like the Taterbed family had a chance to turn the corner financially: take care of a few expensive projects around the house AND make significant cuts in Mr. Mastercard’s fat underbelly. Well, we had a few gut-punches but are still keeping our heads above water.

I had heard rumors about a substantial bonus from my previous employer, since we worked for them last year prior to being bought out last October and they had a profitable year. The new company also promised to make up for the three months the old company would not pay. I kept hearing the number “15%” and made plans. What I didn’t realize was that my “low” pay grade only allowed 2/3 of that, apparently since I get overtime (which has been cut back over the last few years). I’m trying to keep a happy face about it, as we got enough to take down an old tree in the backyard (big $$) and have a little extra. It doesn’t seem right that a peer/coworker would get a higher pay grade than me. All the OT pay does is give me some incentive to answer the phone at 2 am.

The second punch came last week after I had filed taxes electronically. At first I was looking at having to pay a few hundred, which is not a big deal as I’d rather pay a little than give Uncle Sam a free loan. When I included our two foster children as dependents (legally able to do so since they lived with us all year), it turns out that we would get several thousand back due to child tax credits. That also bumped up the “tax rebate” we would be getting from $1500 to $2100.

The day after filing I got an e-mail saying that my return had been rejected since someone else had already claimed the two children. We checked with DSS and found out it was not the agency, and that we have a legal right to claim them. So now we have to file by paper and then wait around to see if we get any money back, or if this gets challenged and they want the adjusted payment with interest since they probably won’t work on it until early fall.

The last punch came on Saturday, when we found out Skybus had gone belly-up. We had planned on taking the kids to Chicago on their first flight ever in July, so Kristal purchased cheap fare tickets ($10!) as soon as they were released (as there were a limited number of them) and spent about $300. We ended up tacking on a few charges for reserved seating and flight insurance. I doubt the flight insurance has anything to do with the airline declaring bankruptcy, though, so we’re in line with thousands of others at the credit card company hoping for a refund. At least partial.

Now we have to decide how to take a 13 hour car ride with three knuckle-heads in the back seats, and it looks like the gas for the trip will be at least $300. It’s funny how things like this can have you examine your faith and trust in God. Funny. I am thankful He gives me the strength to rise up for these challenges.

Last week the ruling for the final appeal by the mother of our two (currently foster) kids was issued and delivered at the original (county) court.  The state supreme court voted 3-0 against, so the children are now available for adoption.  DSS will start the wheels turning (i.e. paperwork), though there is talk about subcontracting out our home-study.  I don’t know what’s involved in the home-study, but the fact that they would hire someone else to do it sounds like it’s involved.

On Sunday night Kristal and I talked to the boy (5) and girl (4) about adoption.  They took it much better than I anticipated.  I did not expect much from the girl, as she’s still too young to bother with anything beyond the next few minutes in her life.  The boy surprised me by knowing the difference between foster and adoption, having his name changed, remembering the different places he has lived, and just his overall acceptance of it.

I think the big difference maker for him is having an older brother he adores.  Well, maybe not so much adores but he does love him and looks to him for many things.  I did not have a big brother, and my little brother was young enough and insulated by two sisters in between us so that I did not have much to do with him while we were growing up.  Their age difference is 4 while my younger brother is 6 years younger.  It may not sound like much of a difference but it was back then.

Over the last few months I have enjoyed a better relationship with the 5 y.o. boy, as I’m finally starting to understand what makes him tick.  He’s not very expressive (particularly when he’s in trouble!) and tends to turn to Kristal whenever he has a need, so I’ve had to find my spots.  The girl is easy to love in spite of her hard-headedness, and I’m looking forward to having a strong relationship with her including lots of fun father-daughter activities.

It has been interesting to observe the dynamics between the three kids.  I thought at first the two younger ones would band together and shut out everyone else, but that has not happened at all.  The boy is at a point in his life where girls are icky, but they will occasionally play together.  She can get bossy and he hates to be bossed around by her, thus playtimes are shortened once in a while.

I have had to intervene when the boys play together and exclude the girl.  Every now and then the older boy will play with the girl and exclude the 5 y.o. boy, so it bounces back and forth.  For now the two younger ones have not shunned the older brother, as they typically compete for his attention.  He probably would not care if they tried to shun him, anyhow.

We are hoping that we will all be a legal (court approved and certified) Tater family by September.  I still feel pangs about taking them away from their birth mother, as I got to hear from her directly on how much she loves and misses them during the hearing last year.  Unfortunately she could not take care of the problems that caused her to lose the kids.  I feel this guilt moreso than with our 9 y.o. boy, as his birth mother was just a teenage girl who could not take care of herself.

I pray for both of these women, for God to give them comfort and reassurance that their babies are loved in a good home and will grow to be strong men and woman.

Does a post a month make for a blog?  A quite meager one at that.  Better take advantage of the blog-muse hitting me …

- Next month will mark 8 years of living in the same house.  I find it hard to believe, as it’s twice as long as any stay we have made, and (of course) the time has flown by.  I don’t know if change is in the air, but it’s nice not having to pack the junk and move it somewhere else.  I have looked into a few opportunities to make more money, but they were local and did not involve a move.  I’m sure there’s a nice enough salary out there to convince me to move, but I don’t know how much or where or even if I’m up for finding it.

-  Lady Spud had bunion surgery a week ago, and her check-up with the doctor yesterday went OK.  It’s been “fun” managing the household  She’s at the point of really wanting to do stuff, though talking with her today I could tell she’s overdoing it because of her foot pain.  I have been to the library for movies and free magazines (one of her favorite pastimes is to tear out magazine articles) for her, but she is more than ready to go out and about.  Fortunately she chuckled when I said I was worried about some of the fast-food places around town feeling a pinch since she could not get out to them.

- One of the movies from the library was Master and Commander (with Russell Crowe).  We watched the first half hour of it before supper, and it looked great on the big screen TV.  Once the kids were in bed (and American Idol was over) I was somewhat surprised that she did not want to watch the rest of it with me.  I asked several times, and she declined each time.  I enjoyed the rest of it last night, but it was not until this morning I figured out her reluctance.  It’s definitely not a chick-flick, and as a matter of fact there’s only one scene where a (native) Indian woman in a canoe makes a brief appearance on screen.  Otherwise it’s manly men at sea, fighting for God and country.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that …

- This is the first year in several that I’ve not blogged about the phenomenon known as American Idol.  The favorites have been singled out, and we’ll have the usual drama about people deserving to be voted off who remain and vice versa.  I just wished they would find some other songs besides the old tired ones they keep trotting out.  And Beatles songs don’t count!

- I might go more into depth about the presidential election if the spirit moves me.  It looks like the election is going against trends in that a senator will be elected.  Senators typically do not make good candidates for president.  My main beef with the ones left standing is their lack of leadership experience/accomplishments.  The PotUS essentially runs a very large company-organization, and those without leadership skills will struggle once they sit in the Oval Office.  While people lambaste Pres. Bush, he did go into the job with experience both in private business as well as being a governor, and it served him well (enough to get him re-elected).  Leadership in military affairs will also be very important, as things are still unsettled in Arab Oil-landia.

Yes, I’m still alive. A discussion of “Comanche Moon” to follow after excuses.

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Rumors of the death of this blog were not exaggerated, since nobody was making any rumors. Over the five years on the blogosphere I’ve seen ‘em come and go, and it has been interesting to watch the life and course of various blogs. For a few years we (Axis of Weevil) had a great community, but after the axle (PossumPapa) snapped and left, the community has not been the same.

If you have the time blogs can be great fun as you build a group of like-minded bloggers, and if you have a boring job and internet access it can be a mind saver. I had been in that situation the last few years, but starting this year I am working for a new company that does not seem to tolerate “loose surfin’”. I have also been extremely busy the last few weeks as most of the computers in my location have been changed, and the yoho’s who set up the system screwed it up to begin with. After two weeks I’m getting to the point where I can at least re-build a computer to their “standards”. I still have much work to do in getting our file/folder setup switched over to the new server.

Anywhozitz, what I’m trying to say is that posts will be less frequent, particularly those about my everyday life. I’d love to have the time to relate the joys and frustrations that come raising three young’uns with a stay-at-home mom and a very limited budget. I still plan to use this site as a repository for TUG, my lessons for the almost ten year old boy, as I try to steer him towards responsible teenage/manhood behavior. Who knows what the future may hold …

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Kristal and I are big “Lonesome Dove” fans. We have the three-pack DVD collection (Lonesome Dove/Streets of Laredo/Dead Man’s Walk) and will occasionally watch one. The original is the best, and when I think “cowboy” it’s Robert Duvall’s version of Augustus McCrae that comes to my mind. I still tear-up on some of the scenes after all of these years, and after watching “Comanche Moon” this week I’m looking forward to seeing “Lonesome Dove” again. It’s the role he was meant to play (he almost played Capt. Call when the project first started) and it’s a shame he only played the part once.

I would rate “Comanche Moon” somewhere in the middle of the 5 Lonesome Dove tales (”Return to Lonesome Dove” being the fifth title). They’re all pretty good, though I’d rate “Streets of Laredo” a little below “Lonesome Dove” but ahead of the others. We unfortunately had to excuse the almost-ten year old boy out of the room, as his 9:30 bedtime would have given him 30 minutes to watch some of “Comanche Moon”, and I’m not comfortable with him watching it or the others until he’s probably a teen, as some of the scenes can get mature.

But that was life out in the Old West. It amazes me (as a “modern” man) how people not only survived but thrived in such conditions and conquered the land west of the Mississippi. Which brings me to the post title. In the second night the Comanches raided Austin and raped Pearl. Her husband, Long Bill Coleman, rushes home to see if she’s OK. While he’s happy to see her alive, she starts getting defensive and in a round-about way blaming him for not being there when she needed him (he was out rangering).

As he’s trying to process the guilt and show his love for her, she later springs her plan: he should become a preacher so he won’t have to leave town. Long Bill is just a simple cowboy/ranger, has no Bible knowledge, can’t read, and knows he’d never make it having to get up in front of people every week. He’s so tired before bed that he can’t even get his boots off.

In the morning Pearl wakes up alone, and then finds him hanging from a tree as he committed suicide. At the commercial break Kristal asked me “Why did he kill himself?”, and I just mumbled a response about how you never know what goes through someone’s mind. This question has haunted me this week, though, as I consider my own life and where I’m at (yeah, typical middle-age crap!).

Long Bill had two things that propped up his life: he was a good Ranger and he loved Pearl. In one night he was looking at the prospect of losing both and didn’t know what else to do. Why did Buffalo Hump go on his spirit journey, knowing he’d be killed? How did Captain Scoll keep alive in conditions that broke and killed most other men? Did Maggie let herself get sick and die over Capt. Call’s lack of love?

I suppose I should read the book and have more time to reflect on possible answers. For now I’m wrestling with answers for my own life. Am I just treading water and not accomplishing what I should be capable of? Do I use the kids as an excuse to not make the extra effort for a “career”? Am I even spending enough quality time with them? Sorry to end on a negative note, but the last few weeks have been h-e-double toothpicks, yet I realize in about a month or less things will die down and I’ll be contemplating my navel again in front of a computer screen. Am I killing myself slowly? Why? Do I have it in me for one last big drive? Am I more than a conqueror? God help me.

With the new big-screen TV at the Taterbed, we do not have the capability of watching video tapes.  Older movies, particularly the holiday “chestnuts”, are typically on tape, so we have to decide whether to watch on the old small TV, buy a DVD version or just go without.  My favorite Christmas movie, White Christmas with Crosby, Kaye, Clooney and Ellen was scheduled to be shown on one of the local channels I can get in with my antenna, in HD.

 It was with eager anticipation that I tuned in the movie, and the opening scenes were great.  You could see the background details of the beautiful sets as well as the nuances of the facial expressions better.  With a broadcast like this you expect about 7 minutes of movie followed by about 4 minutes of commercials.  When they returned from the first commercial break, it seemed like some dialogue was missing, but I didn’t mind too much.

 The next scene was the famous “Sisters” duet.  After the song they chat at the table (boy-girl, boy-girl), and then Kaye and Ellen get up to dance so the other two can talk.  At this point the number “The Best Things Happen When You’re Dancing” starts, but they cut to commercial just before it was supposed to start.  I’m not a big fan of dance, but I really enjoy watching them use the whole set.

 As it turned out they had cut out the whole dance number, and I was understandably upset.  I then had to put one of the youngsters to bed, so I missed a chunk of the movie and retuned at the point where the gang meets in the club car on the train.  As nice as Bing Crosby sings all of the songs in the movie, I love to hear him sing “Snow”.  Once again, they stopped the movie just before the start of ”Snow” for a commercial break, and then after the commercial they were in Vermont.  Ther had cut out the “Snow” number!!

 It was at that point I left the room and could not watch anymore.  It should be illegal to cut out so much from a movie.  Instead I went to the Amazon site and found some satisfaction that will hopefully be delivered soon.  My favorite version of a Christmas Carol with Albert Finney may be in the box too.

Well, they’re at it again, trying to hammer speculation and inference down our throats. Foxnews gave a report on some propaganda from the online edition of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. EVOLUTION IS ACCELERATING! Watch out or it may crash!

As a (formerly) well-trained scientist, I was under the impression that evolution arises from mutations, where a mutation is some unexpected change in a living organism (i.e. a newborn with a second eye where only one was expected, lungs where there used to be gills). Let’s see if this report describes mutations:

Most anthropologists agree that humans first evolved in Africa and then spread to other areas, and the lighter skin color of Europeans and Asians is generally attributed to selection to allow more absorption of vitamin D in colder climates where there is less sun.The increase in human population from millions to billions in the last 10,000 years accelerated the rate of evolution because “we were in new environments to which we needed to adapt,” (Henry C.) Harpending (an anthropologist at the University of Utah) adds. “And with a larger population, more mutations occurred.”

In another example, the researchers noted that in China and most of Africa, few people can digest fresh milk into adulthood.

Lighter skin color, need to adapt, better able to digest milk … sounds like selection rather than evolution to me. Anyone who has worked with farm animals and husbandry can tell you the difference. Modern turkeys today raised on a factory farm barely resemble their wild “cousins”. The farm turkeys are so top-heavy from their enlarged chests (more white meat!) that they run the risk of literally falling and not being able to get back up. That is selection and not a mutation.

Two years ago Harpending and colleague Gregory M. Cochran published a study arguing that above-average intelligence in Ashkenazi Jews — those of northern European heritage — resulted from natural selection in medieval Europe, where they were pressured into jobs as financiers, traders, managers and tax collectors. Those who were smarter succeeded, grew wealthy and had bigger families to pass on their genes, they suggested. That evolution also is linked to genetic diseases such as Tay-Sachs and Gaucher in Jews.

It’s funny (strange) how in the same paragraph they go from “natural selection” to “that evolution”. I think it’s more than just semantics, as there is this desire from anthropologists and others to actually put their hands on something they can call “evolution”, rather than relying on digging stuff out of the ground and dealing with gaps in the ‘logical’ progression of amoebas to men.

While it’s fascinating to see how man has changed over the millenia, let’s not delude ourselves into thinking we’re evolving. God has blessed men with plenty of variety and different capabilities in order to survive and thrive in the different parts of the world He created.

- Yeesh, I’m still getting over the sad-pathetic display of football from last night.  It looked like the bowl season started early with the Inept Bowl, as both the Bears and Redskins squandered opportunities.  After Grossman was hurt, I had a hunch Griese would be too rusty to do much of anything.  When you add the poor offensive line play, it’s no wonder the Bears could not score enough to win.

- I just caught it this morning, the preview for the next Narnia movie, Prince Caspian.  I’m too lazy to dig up a link, though it should not be too difficult to find.  From what little I saw, it looks like they movie makers go to the kids meeting the Prince much earlier in the movie than in the book.  It was nice to see Aslan on the screen again.

- I also saw a preview of Speed Racer.  Hmmm, I’m not sure how well a 60’s cartoon will translate to a modern-day live action film.  They do have John (Flintstones) Goodman in it, though.

- We’re still wrestling with misbehavior from the two youngest, while the oldest has his moments as well.  Kristal doesn’t look forward to picking up the youngest from daycare, as she inevitably has to hear about the reasons the girl “earned” a red mark on her report.  It’s a little more difficult with the middle boy, as he “mysteriously” clams up if you try to get him to describe what happened during the day.

- We did get good news last week that the birth mom’s appeal will be heard this month, and if things work out for us the paperwork from the state court will be ready in a few months.  From there it will take several more months until the adoption can be finalized.  They (social workers) would not commit to a range of time, but it looks like maybe September.  I asked if a fruit basket would help move the paperwork along, and they said it wouldn’t hurt.  They followed up by giving names of stores for gift certificates.  I think they were joking about the last part.  Maybe.

- It’s going to be slightly more chaotic at work the next few weeks, as more network equipment arrives and the new company’s equipment is brought on-line.  They keep talking about us “being available” the week between Christmas and New Year’s, but it’s still not clear what will be needed (for now).  Right now feels like the calm before the storm.  I’m reminded of a corollary to the Chinese “blessing”:  may you have an interesting job.

I’m coming out of the closet and admitting to being a fan of “The Next Great American Band” show.  I have been watching it from the beginning and it’s fairly entertaining, moreso than the dancing show that just concluded (thank God).  My favorite band is the Clark Brothers - just awesome talent.  I talked to someone in the band at my church, and he had actually played backstage with them at a bluegrass festival and said they are the real deal. 

I would like to see Trey Bien, Dot Dot Dot and Light of Doom voted out, with Six Wire and the Clark Brothers duking it out for the championship (Denver and his orchestra are nice but shouldn’t even be on at this point).  Unfortunately, the headbangin’ longhaired schoolkids will be around until the end.  They’re an OK kid garage band, but nobody on the show seems to want to face the backlash of pointing out they are mediocre musicians who just play crunch chords and learned their stage moves from old heavy-metal videos.

My 9 year old loves them and jumps up and down every time they are announced to go on-stage.  Both his mom and I groan, and then he looks at us and can’t understand why we don’t like them.  Like “American Idol”, it’s up to the public to vote and I see a repeat of teenie-boppers with their cellphones calling in votes for the Doom-ers. Trey Bien is in a similar situation of kids/peers voting for them even though they are also not very talented.  It is supposed to be a talent contest but it ends up being a popularity contest, thus a band like Franklin Bridge has a premature exit.  So it goes …

-  Is it really almost December?  We already got our first Christmas card … yikes!  It looks like Christmas money will be spent on oldest boy as he has a few “pits” in his teeth that need to be filled.  Even after insurance we’re still on the hook for about $200.  Mmmph.

-  With our new HDTV, we usually find ourselves in front of the screen for Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy every night starting at 7 pm.  We rarely watched those shows before with our old TV.  The picture from the HD broadcast is amazing.  There’s not that much other stuff broadcast in HD (or any network show for that mater) that I want to see.  I’m playing DVD’s through an upconverter, and while they’re nice to watch it’s not as good as an HD broadcast.  Maybe next spring we’ll decide if we want to spend the money on BluRay or HD-DVD.

-  Over the Thanksgiving break I did get to watch a few football games in HD, and it is sweet.  You see more of the field (and play) and everything is in sharp detail.  I got my early Christmas gift of watching (in HD) the bestest team in the whole world, the Chicago Bears, last Sunday in their thrilling victory over the Broncos at Soldier Field.  Now I better understand why some folks spend hundreds of dollars on the high-def NFL Gameday package.  Someday …

-  It’s our 21st wedding anniversary tomorrow, and even though that makes it drinking legal the strongest beverage we will have is caffeinated iced tea (we usually drink the decaf at home).  While Kristal would like to go to a fancy restaurant, she has agreed to go to a place where we can keep it under $25 for us two.  We are blessed with a friend who has agreed to take care of all three of our angelic savages while we go out.  Now I just have to find a $2 anniversary card somewhere that expresses my true feelings.  Or I can just write it out over a plain card.  That’s me - Mr. Romance.