Spudlets

Yes, the holidays are officially over … well, for kids around here in public schools, there will be three days off for some kind of winter break/MLK holiday.  These youngsters just got a few weeks off, and now they get three more days.  Any wonder how they can keep their focus on school work? 

Josh is upset that his homeschooling schedule has him working through it, as it’s obviously not fair that other kids get off but he has school.  His school schedule is so easy yet he does not really appreciate how good he has it.  Joey does very well in school work but would just as soon not go to school (play on the computer or video games instead).  Sandy seems to like it unless she’s frustrated or bored, and then it will sometimes devolve into clash of wills where she ends up in her room crying.  I think she’s getting better but when you’re in the middle of it daily it can be difficult to have a good perspective on it.

She turns 6 in a few days, and we’re scheduled for a party at one of those “bounce around” places on Saturday.  She does not have any friends outside of church since she started homeschooling.  We have not pushed her on sports for now, as the one time she was in soccer she did not take too well to coaching.  Kristal is still (and probably always will be) hurting from the dance class recital/disaster last summer.  She takes Sandy’s misbehavior when out in public too personally, as if it’s a reflection of her “bad parenting”, so she tends to look at the other “good” kids and beats herself up over things out of her control.  We’ll give her a little more time before trying sports again (maybe cheerleading?).

We will kid each other and say that God gave us Josh to prepare us for Sandy, though Josh is still his own handful as he enters the surly preteen phase.  He wants to be treated like an older teenager yet can act like a kid, complete with mouthy replies and selfish perspective.  I worry about Sandy’s development, as she does not seem to be maturing where I’d hope she’d be.  Part of it could be “baby of the family”, but there’s this nagging doubt about her birth mother using drugs and if that has influenced Sandy’s development. 

Just yesterday she brought up her “other” mother and father and talked about wanting to see them.  It has to be difficult for her to come to grips with this situation.  I’m tempted to tell her the real reason why her birth parents are out, but all she has are memories and the Christmas gifts they still send.  It has been at least a year and a half since her last visit with birth mother, but it’s still on her mind.  I will praise God that she has finally told me that she loves me after I tell her that I love her before she goes to bed.  Joey is still a work in progress.

Anywhozitz, they all got fairly spoiled for Christmas.  My in-laws drove in for Christmas day so I made pizza for them.  With them driving we did not have to travel at all for the holidays.  They were nice enough to give us some holiday green.  I got some headphones from an FYE at the mall going out of business.   They were 50% off, but it turned out to be the same price as on Amazon (without the shipping, though).  I used the rest of the money to upgrade a cordless drill Kristal snuck in under the tree.  I thought we had said we weren’t getting each other anything, though she claims she did not “hear” that.

I tried to spoil her for her 50th b-day on the 5th with a gold-diamond necklace/pendant, though on our budget the diamonds were fairly tiny.  She said she did not want a big party, so we kept it low-key with just family and two cakes:  one on the 5th and one on the following Saturday.  A birthday girl has got to have her priorities …

With the headphones I’ve been enjoying Lala and reminiscing over music I have not heard in years.  Most of my old stuff is on vinyl in the closet, and I have not had the space/money/strong desire to set up a turntable.  With Lala, you can hear songs or whole albums for free the first time.  After that you only get a thirty second preview of a song, unless you pay.  You can pay for an MP_3 download, or you can pay about a tenth as much for a “streaming” right to a song or album.  I’ll be putting some money in the Lala bank soon (I hope!).  There’s some Steely Dan that keeps running through my head.  The only groups that do not have music on the site (that I’ve found for now) are Led Zepplin and the Who.

If you read this and think you would want to register, please let me know and I can help you – as well as get a few free songs myself for registering you (HA!).  Most albums are under a dollar for streaming.  They do have a vast library, from contemporary Christian to comedy to jazz (175 Duke Ellington albums) to Hank Williams to Raffi to Bach (though classical on MP_3 stream is questionable for some audiophiles).  If you have your computer hooked up with decent speakers, this is as good a way as any to hear music you want for cheap AND legal.

Prayers go out to those in Haiti picking up their lives.  I may just have a post and/or letter to the editor about that situation.

Time magazine had this crazy story about this decade being the worst decade “ever”, and I heard about it over at Andrea Harris’ place.  Just so I don’t lose it, I gave my ten reasons for the oughts being a good decade, reprinted below:

Ten Best Things from the Oughts

1. Two of my children were born (yeah, kinda selfish of me)

2. Cheap big screen TV’s in HD

3. Lord of the Rings trilogy – come on, by the time RotK was given an opening date you were already planning on seeing it that weekend, and by the end of it you already went through any napkins you had as you watched the tearful reunion of the Fellowship.

4. Rise of socialization via internet – from blogs to Facebook to Twitter, your circle of friends could grow far beyond family and people you bump into. Of course, flat screen relationships are not very deep .

5. Peak Oil (2005) – people will have to learn to do with less, as cheap energy is a thing of the past. The ramp-up of commodities (fueled by the price of oil) caused the mortgage bubble to burst, and the yoho’s in Washington still can’t face the music and put our economic ship a’right as they let delinquent mortgages slide.

6. Credit Crisis – learning hard lessons in how we cannot continue to push off paying tomorrow for fleeting pleasure today

7. Post-9/11 – yeah, the attack was severe and many innocent lives were lost. The spirit of cooperation and patriotism had not been seen/felt since WWII, and it snapped many Americans out of their complacency.

8. Chicago Bears in the Super Bowl (yeah, kinda selfish of me, and look how they’ve sunk – well, I’m hoping for a better 2010)

9. Election of Obama – gee, we’re no longer racist since we elected a (semi)black President. Hopefully his single term will show most reasonable voters the folly of voting for a slick speechifier with a thin background/qualifications and maybe, just maybe, liberalism will suffer a deadly blow.

10. Election of Bush – history will show he was the right President for the time. I disliked his playing footsies with the libs and his propensity to let the deficit grow. He asked Americans for sacrifice following 9/11, yet after suffering through the dotcom collapse Americans spent and lived it up like drunken sailors. Some sacrifice …

Setting up Iraq as a Muslim democracy was the best gamble, in spite of the economic and political cost. He took the burden and is still suffering the effects of BDS after about a year out of office.

Well, posting again this week almost makes me not a “non-blogger”.  Almost.  Possum Papa asked for our thankful thoughts before we give thanks (before a big spread of food hopefully) in a week.  I could make it easy and just give thanks for all the Lord has blessed me with, how he cares for me in spite of my disobedience.  I’m not thankful for the disobedience I’ve had to deal with lately from my own young’uns.  We seem to be in one of those valleys of stubbornness, where requests have to be repeated and threats made before simple tasks are completed.  Ooops, enough crabbin’ – I’m supposed to be thankful!  Here goes:

1. What one person are you most thankful for this year?  I’ll go with Sarah Palin, as she makes liberals go crazy.  She seems to be the only “big” politician espousing true conservative ideals of reducing government, cutting taxes and bringing accountability back to government.  It makes me chuckle when people get goggle-eyed over cutting her down and saying how she’s not qualified yet try to defend the current White House occupant.  I hope there’s enough country to save in three years.
2. What one thing are you most thankful for this year?  I’m tempted to say the trade for bringing Cutler to the Bears, but that’s a work in progress.  We got good chunks of money back from taxes and when we refinanced the house, so we were able to take care of bills, put in a new roof and installed a real ceee-ment driveway.  Even better, somebody else did the work!  And the grass seed I sowed a few weeks ago around the edges of the driveway sprouted and is doing purty good!!
3. What one event are you most thankful for this year?  Lady Kristal went overboard for my birthday this year, and it seems like a long time since some one made a fuss over me.  Prideful and selfish?  Maybe.  I didn’t ask for it, was semi-surprised and am grateful for those who contributed. 

4.  What about me?  Obli-dee, obla-da, life goes on (WHOA) laa la la la la la la laaaa.  The company I work for is doing OK now, but I’m bored to tears.  Unfortunately my plan for employment emancipation and economic pot-o’-gold is lagging.  I have nobody to blame but myself.  Can’t even tag the Obaminator with this one.

My son took the plunge a few months ago and got a Facebook page.  He was then able to con my wife into one as well.  They get to compare how many “friends” they have, as well as the progress they make in Farmville.  It’s all so silly.

I have not had the urge to be another lump on wall for Facebook.  I can understand the appeal, as my wife is able to keep up with family as well as some friends here in town.  She claims she doesn’t have time for stuff, but between Facebook and her Outlook inbox she has been spending more time on-line.  Josh gets to communicate with his friends as well as cousins, which he seems to enjoy.

But that’s not the scary part.  Yesterday he went with his “best buddy” and family to the movies as it was his friend’s birthday.  After the movie he and buddy were hanging out at Books-a-Million as buddy’s dad had to do something at Sears.  Apparently a group of girls about their same age or slightly older then them took notice of the handsome young men and actually “accosted” them.

Buddy panicked and hid in the bathroom.  Josh laughed at them, but when one of the girls tried to hug him he left the area and tried to ditch them.  Eventually, buddy’s older sister caught up with them and seemed to intimidate the girls away.  For some strange reason Josh found the whole experience scary and has made an oath to stay single.  Josh put a memo on his Facebook wall last night where he posted “I was scared, really”.  He expected all of his “friends” to respond and lend their support.

He got up early on a Sunday morning (before 7 am!), showered and checked his wall.  Nobody had written back.  He was very disappointed according to his mom, but did not let on.  All of this reminds me of my early blogging days, back 6-7 years ago.  I was blessed to find a few friends, we had a community (cloud?) of sorts and got to know each other.  It lasted a few years, where more than a handful of fellow bloggers would visit Spudlets as I posted nearly every weekday, sometimes more than once a day.

Seasons change, fads fade, and it got to the point where the community seemed to die off.  There are times I wish we could bring the “old gang” back together.  I suppose with enough effort I could find another community, though I’d have to do the Facebook thing.  No thanks.  I’ll stick to an occasional post every month unless the mood hits me to do more.  Or less.

I hope this can be a lesson for Josh, that friends, particularly online ones, can let you down.  Otherwise I expect that the oath of remaining single will be tested once his hormones start coursing through his veins, and girls his age start to fill out and learn how to torment teenage boys.

Lady Kristal found a radio station playing Christmas music already.  And to add to our “joy” it’s Delilah.  To those who have never heard her during the holidays, she’s like Ann Landers with a microphone.  She’ll play a few well-worn versions of overplayed songs, and then take a call where someone gives her a sob story.  After Delilah’s encouraging words, we all feel better about thinking good thoughts for the poor soul as we go on to more Frosty and Rudolph.

I’m convinced her doorbell, and probably her cellphone, has her little musical intro with her name programmed:  Duh lie laaaaa … oh well, it’s only six weeks.  Only six weeks.  Only six weeks …

I’m finding one of the more difficult parts of parenting is having my children understand the concept of consequences.  Unfortunately (or not?) I let mercy and perhaps laziness sometimes put aside intended discipline for a child who misbehaves.  All they end up seeing is that they got away with something, and the worse they had to put up with may have been some yelling.

I suppose parents have been wrestling with this problem for millenia, and end up getting frustrated over the lack of respect from them, the backtalk and unwillingness to stop the misbehavior.  I can also see how parents over the millenia have lost their temper and beat the snot out of the kids.  I try not to discipline while angry, but there are times when the line is crossed.  This is my cry (to myself?) for consistency, as it is an effective tool for helping children understand consequences.

This morning I’ll be teaching my third graders about the concept/origins of sin and Satan’s role in temptation.  We went through the story of Adam and Eve last week, and today we’ll review how Jesus faced temptation.  I plan on showing the beginning of The Passion of the Christ.  Even though Satan is not mentioned in the Bible as tempting Jesus in the garden, it’s a great scene showing how the devil operates, and my spirit is lifted every time I see Jesus crushing the snake.   Amen!

One consequence I’m struggling with now is my relationship with Joey (middle son).  We did not get off to a good start nearly three years ago.  He is introverted so it’s more of a challenge to get him to open up.  He adores his older brother yet is (at best) ambivalent about his biological younger sister.  You would expect them to be close, but that’s not the case.  He’ll play with her sometimes but more often than not he gets aggravated by her.  Part of it is just the annoyance of a younger girl, and part of it is she can be desperate to find somebody to play with (and she can be very bossy/domineering).

To help my bond with Joey I decided to take just him to the movies.  This somewhat upset his older brother (as expected), but if I had taken both then Joey would have clung to Josh and I would be left out.  I had wanted to take him to see Astro Boy but it was not playing at the local theater here.  The only “good” option here was Where the Wild Things Are.

MOVIE REVIEW – Where the Wild Things Are

Like most parents I’m familar with the very short story, and wondered how somebody could make a whole movie out of some kids’ dream.  Well, they did manage to make a movie, and there were some things from the short story in the movie.  Otherwise it turned out to be a waste of two hours and twenty bucks.  If you’re seven years old you may not care about the reasons things happen  in the flow of a story, or how a ten year old boy can get away with lieing, destroying things and biting people.

You could speculate as to the movie’s intention of being made for kids, but the symbolism of the “wild things” Max encounters and the relationships they all struggle with go way above the heads of the kids.  This is by no means escapist fare or an enjoyable kids movie.  Therapists and psychologists will probably have this on their Christmas list.  While I did not ask him directly, I doubt Joey understood that the time Max spent with the wild things was all a dream, as he probably thought Max actually got in a boat and sailed across the ocean.

To make things worse there are no “dad” roles in the film.  It’s either kids, monsters or mom.  In WTWTA, Max has an older sister where they are being raised by a struggling single mom.  There’s no explanation about dad or lack of one.  After some destructive behavior by Max in the beginning (he’s mad at his sister) being glossed over by mom, Max is in his room playing.  He goes downstairs to get his mom, only to find out she’s entertaining a male “friend” and they are about to have dinner.  Max acts up, disobeys mom and ends up biting her hard on the shoulder.  As she falls on the floor, male friend pops his head in the kitchen and says “Hey, he shouldn’t be doing that”.  Duh.  Max runs away, finds a ship and sails to wild things island.

The wild things, about a half dozen of them, turn out to be different components of Max’s personality.  He gets to deal with them individually as well as trying to unite them and make them happy after he is crowned king.  There was some things that happened that did not make sense, such as how big monster hands with claws could make intricate dioramas, as well as nobody seemed to need to eat or drink, but the mad dash around the woods and island took up most of the time.

SPOILER ALERT – After Max leaves the island, sails back and then runs home, he opens up the front door to a dark quiet house.  No police on “Amber alert”, nobody out looking, nobody waiting at the door, it was just another night.  He goes around to check a few rooms and finally finds his mom.  No words are spoken.  She just hugs him, serves up a big ol’ piece of chocolate cake, watches him from across the counter and falls asleep while he eats.  The end.

AAaargh!  Where’s the consequences!  Yeah, we’re all happy at the tearful reunion, but there’s no discipline handed out from the parent, no remorse from the child.  I suppose you could liken this to the forgiveness the Lord offers us.  As disobedient children we run away from Him, yet He patiently waits for us with a reward when we return.  We still need to show repentance, though, and we should not be surprised to be disciplined.

I would warn parents to not waste your time watching this with your children or buying the movie for them.  Wait until it comes out on TV and watch it for free if you must, though you’ll regret wasting the time.  I wish Astro Boy had been playing in town.  Ah well, I hope Joey appreciated the time we spent together, even if part of it involved a bad film.  That would be a good consequence.

Back in the old days, early part of the decade, I would occasionally dip my toes in the political waters.  I rarely do that now, as the flamers/libs are too much for me to stomach.  Their BDS (Bush derangement syndrome)-fueled idiocy still rages to this day.  I think it’s one of the reasons we get things like the school kids in Jersey singing praises to Obadma.  Bush had his faults, but he was a good president who loved and served his country, unlike the current occupant who I don’t think loves the US.  While Obadma made noises about bipartisanship prior to his election, he has yet to act on it.  Bush sought more bipartisanship than any modern president, and it came with a price (100’s of billions of debt).

Back to the point I wanted to make … this current health scare proposal has me very uneasy, and not just because of the price tag of having to pay for somebody else’s poor health management as well as screwing around with my health services.  I finally found someone who said it better than me in a Dan Henninger article last week.  He quotes from a paper by Victor Fuchs on national health insurance.  Democrats have been trying to enact a national health plan for over seventy years as part of the original Social Security act(scam).  Why do other countries enact national health care but the US has held off for so long?

He notes, for instance, that the national health insurance movement rose alongside a larger transfer of responsibility from the family to the state: “Every time the state assumes an additional function such as health insurance, child care or benefits for the aged, the need for close family ties becomes weaker.”

Replace “family” with community or church, and you have what has bothered me about the slide of this great country into a nanny-state.  Starting with Great Society and the alphabet soup FDR pushed through in the last Great Depression, the federal government has been on a continuous/inexorable power grab, intruding on what folks should be taking care of on their own.  Compassion belongs in the hands of the church/community/family and not some idiot bureaucrat in Washington.

There is no provision for the federal government to be involved in health care, child care or old-age benefits, let alone be in the mortgage business.  We have allowed this to slowly strangle us over the decades.  We now have something that looks and smells like the beginning of another economic depression, but God forbid we should name it and do something about it.  Instead we watch the federal government try to fix it by issuing trillions in debt, when the problem all along is excess credit/debt that cannot be serviced.  The feds looks the other way as banks play the extend-and-pretend game on debt they cannot service.  Hey, there is something in the Constitution for this – the 10th amendment, that simply declares that powers not enumerated for the fed. gov. will be given/assumed by the individual states.  Here’s more illumination from Fuchs:

But even the state must bond: “It may be that one of the most effective ways of increasing allegiance to the state is through national health insurance.” This would have been Bismarck’s purpose. “We live at a time when many of the traditional symbols and institutions that held a nation together have been weakened and fallen into disrepute. A more sophisticated public requires more sophisticated symbols, and national health insurance may fit that role particularly well.” Updating the public symbols, Mr. Obama says health care is one of the two “pillars” of U.S. prosperity in the 21st century.

No, health care is not a “pillar” of US prosperity.  Letting citizens of this great country live free of federal oppression, allowing free markets to function properly and expecting communities/states to take care of their own – those are the pillars for prosperity.  The elections of 2010 will be interesting to watch, but I’m not confident we will have much of a country left for whoever gets elected president in 2012 if we continue the present course.

Hosanna.

Otherwise, things are poking along here at the Taterbed.  I was tempted to have a big 50th b-day post, but old age prevented me from saying much.  Kristal was so nice and put on a big party, nicer than any I have had in my honor in a long time.  My mom and dad came in (Michigan and Illinois, respectively) and we had some friends stop by too (but none from out of town, not that I have many).  I had asked for just a family portrait b-day gift, but as the day kept getting closer she had not scheduled a time for a picture (at Sears?). 

She ended up collecting a bunch of old photos and paying someone to create a DVD slide show with a few songs.  It was nice, and I found myself getting a little choked up when the first pictures of Josh were displayed.  It feels like my life “restarted” then, and the past before that is dimly remembered.  She also imposed on family and friends to contribute to a 50th year “testimony” book.  Very touching.  I had my mom take a picture of us just before church, so I’m using that as my “official” family portrait, now displayed 8×10 in my office/closet.

I had given some thought so saying something profound at the party day, particularly as some people expect some words of wisdom to justify all those years.  When the time came I did not offer much besides thanks.  In hindsight I wanted to say:  

The older I get the more I appreciate the importance of love, my misunderstanding of it and how much I have to learn.  Love is the greatest challenge and greatest reward anyone could expect from life.

Sandy gave me a big ol’ kiss on the cheek before work the other day, and it was all I could do to stop my knees from wobbling.  I do feel my age when I watch Josh play football.  Part of me wants to strap it on again and show him how it’s done, as well as just for the sheer joy of full contact and the competition.  I know it wouldn’t last long, maybe a play or two, as the mind is willing but the body is fragile.  It’s so much fun to wake up now and start the day with minor pains.  It’ll just keep getting better and better too!

There’s my other reason for not having a big 50 post – who wants to hear somebody crabbing about getting old?  Fortunately the kids keep me busy enough to not give me time and think too much about senioritis.  I’m teaching 3rd grade Sunday school, and it’s been a blessing.  I have no curriculum (for now)  so it gets to be whatever springs from my fertile mind.  I typically get a little under 10 yutes in attendance, and they’re good kids.  They occasionally misbehave but it has not been anything major.  As much as I got to dislike the 3rd-5th grade boys Wed. night class over the last year (dropped it a few months ago) I enjoy and look forward to this Sunday school class.

God is good!

In a few more minutes I’ll enter my sixth decade of existence.  This one has been the most difficult, as father time has caught up to me and my physical skills have deteriorated.  It’s by the grace of God that I have not been in a car accident in the last few years, as my vision has declined and I feel a slight loss in concentration for the task-at-hand.  I try not to groan too much when sitting down, standing up or (the worst) squatting/bending down to pick up something.  I suppose getting rid of the chubbiness would help.

Yeah, ain’t it fun reading about somebody’s griping about their ailments?  I hope the Obama health “scare” program does not add to my woes.  I have much to be thankful for, though I wonder how I can find the energy to chase after a 5 and 6 y.o. every day.  I feel badly that I don’t have the energy to keep up with them, but I try to love them as best I can.  With my 11 y.o. son I get to live vicariously through his first season of football.  I can feel a part of me wanting to “strap it on” and knock heads – in reality any tackle football on my part would be very short-lived.

We will be entertaining both my mom and dad (divorced nearly 35 years ago) coming in from the Chicago area as well as my in-laws (nice people).  Kristal may have invited others tomorrow night, so we’ll see.  I don’t know if I’ll be asked to give a short speech (oh boy), but I want to be prepared just in case.  I have to remember to focus on the blessings rather than the what-ifs and woulda-coulda-shoulda.  When you get old the latter stuff tends to creep in.  Maybe I’ll save that for another post … not.

This post has been rolling around my head for awhile, so I  might as well unload it somewhere.  Our recent return from vacation has helped confirm some of the trends I’ve noticed.  I have mentioned before the slow progress I’ve had connecting with Joey (6 y.o. boy) since arriving at the Taterbed in Dec. 2006.  He’s not very expressive unless he’s angry (and it’s not a good “expressiveness”), and the times I tried to get closer to him at the beginning were difficult.

I didn’t feel like he accepted me as “dad” but the guy who owns the house, yells sometimes and has money.  Hugs would have to be prompted, and he would typically seek out his older brother or Kristal when he needed something.  In the last few months it has felt like things have finally turned around.  I don’t know if it’s a trust issue or if it really is love, though I’ll accept the latter.

He now will come up to me and sit on my lap without my asking.  He also seems to be discussing more things with me, where before it was a shrug and a mumbled “Idunoh”.  I’m not a big touchy-feely guy and have to remember to include more wrestling/hugging with the kids.  It’s amazing how much they respond to physical touch.  My heart goes out to those kids who are in situations where they don’t get hugs (and rough-housing!) and a physically reassuring touch.

I still treasure those times when Sandy (5 y.o. girl) reaches up for my hand when we’re walking and those neck-hugs when I challenge her to squeeze as hard as she can.  I need to push myself on wrestling more with the boys, pats on the back and hugs.

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

Over at Taranto’s column at WSJ online, this paragraph leapt out at me (a quote from Politico but the link was broken):

Added a senior Democratic strategist: “It may be out of necessity, but for Republicans, relying on the fringe elements of the party to be the face of opposition on health care is a dangerous game. The birthers and the tea party folks aren’t controllable, come off as angry and out of control and couldn’t care less about the issue at hand.”

First off, if Republicans are relying on a Democratic strategist for advice, then they’re in real trouble.  If anything do the opposite and you’d be OK.  As Taranto pointed out, this “fringe” now outnumbers the people who support this health scare scam.  The other, more galling, aspect is the reference to “birthers”.  I visit other sites on the web (i.e. ToD)  where there is this overwhelming stance for not just ZPG but negative population growth.  The tree-huggers value Gaia, obscure fish and redwoods more than people.

The sneers and contempt leveled at families of more than 3 (4?) disgusts me.  God help us if the liberals start initiatives to limit family size.  They’re working at the other end with Obamacare limiting health care for old people, where the end game is having them die as quickly and cheaply as possible.  They won’t come flat-out and say that, but it’s not difficult to read their intention from the remarks I’ve heard from the current administration.

As a Christian I value the lives God has created and rejoice when more are born, giving me the opportunity to praise the Lord with more brothers and sisters.  This world has plenty of space for more people, regardless of the “quality of life” we would have to endure.  While we as a society will have to wrestle with care we give to those near the end of their lives, it should not be up to a government bureaucrat.

Let’s be consistent in encouraging and uplifting life and helping our neighbors.