10/16/08 at 11:23 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

No, not from blogging, although my posting frequency makes it seem de facto.  Kristal had a difficult day with the kids, in particular with a counseling session for the 4 y.o. girl and 6 y.o. boy.  DSS pays for it, and they’ve been going about once/month since we got them (about two years ago).  For the last few days the girl has been particularly “oppositional”, where she will not do whatever you ask her to do and acts like behaving is a foreign concept.  If she feels slighted she’ll cross her arms and turn her back on you (her little shunning act).  During the counseling session this afternoon she gave a full-blown performance, frustrating Kristal to the point of tears.  Prior to the counseling session Kristal took them all to the library where there was more misbehavior.

After I got home, one of the first things she asked me was that she wanted to “withdraw”.  The counselor advised her to get the two younger kids in respite care for a weekend and drop off the older boy so that we could have a weekend without kids.  Unfortunately they are high-maintenance kids and we’ve had trouble finding a good babysitter, so it has been awhile since we’ve been on a date (a few month?).  We don’t have anybody (family or friends) here in the area that we could ask for help.  Her folks live about two hours away, but the one time they watched the kids for a few hours it took them a few days to recover (in their mid-60’s). She also mentioned going off by herself or with a friend, but she would not be able to go far due to lack of $$.

The middle boy is pretty easy going and not too much trouble, though his lack of communication can be frustrating.  The oldest boy and young girl are similar:  oppositional, quick to anger and can be very loud at times.  The counselor today mentioned that the girl should probably see a psychiatrist, as she may have early signs of bipolar.  Send a 4 year old to a psychiatrist?  Are they going to dope her up?  She has an extremely short attention span and will agree with anything you say if it means she can go.

I read Jordana’s post from a few days ago, and even had Kristal read it to show her that others don’t have perfect kids either.  Kristal has a particularly difficult time when the kids misbehave and do something wrong outside of the house.  She ends up feeling like a bad mother.  I try to encourage her whenever I can.  This “withdraw” thing concerns me, though.  It almost seems like she wants to give up.  She’s fairly convinced that the kids do not listen to her so she ends up feeling like she has no authority.

It’s been a rollercoaster ride with them, as strong-willed kids will be extra loving at times and then extra exasperating.  After we had talked for a bit I “reminded” her that God does not give us more than we can handle, always an effective line in these situations (yes, I’m being sarcastic).  I don’t know if I’ll have to take drastic or “innovative” measures with the kids and/or Kristal.  I do know I’ll need to continue to trust in the Lord and His timing.  He’s an on-time God, yes He is!

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