Spudlets

Movie Club

My 12 y.o. son is doing the typical teenager stuff, and after a month of public school indoctrination he seems to be no worse for the wear. Kristal is still grieving over the loss (not homeschooling him). I got the “privilege” of dropping him off at the local mall/cinema two Saturdays ago to meet up with a group of friends for a 7 pm show. He wanted me to just drop him off at the mall entrance, but I needed to know he was in the theater and not goofing off in the mall (too young for that!).

On the way there he expressed his concern about me staying in the background and not listening in on his conversations there. I told him it was my intent to hold his hand up to the ticket booth. After his display of shock I told him I was just kidding, though I was hurt that he didn’t seem to love his dad. After an “Aw dad” he still wanted me out of sight, as if I could embarrass him or something.

He got into the movies with his new friends (a guy and a couple of girls) and I picked him up after the movie was over. I felt a little “creepy” sitting in a parked car at 9 pm in a mall parking lot waiting for him, and have a better appreciation for not letting my daughter out unescorted as long as I can. He did not give many details besides the movie being OK. He was excited about forming a “Movie Club” where he and his friends could go see a movie once a week. After informing him about the expense he changed it to once a month.

Later on I found out he had “de-friended” Kristal from his Facebok acct., but according to him it was an accident. After being told of the rule of access (parents will monitor all computer activity or you will lose it), Kristal was able to get back on. After looking over the comments on his page she thinks that he may have been “smooching” with one of the girls during the movie. His social status on Facebok changes from single to “taken”(?) often, as he has supposedly had three girlfriends in the 5 weeks of middle school. No wonder he wanted to go there rather than homeschool!

Kristal does not want him to go to a movie now unless one of us goes with him into the theater as a chaperone. I don’t recall my parents ever having to chaperone me or my sister, though I don’t think we went out much before we were 16. I know I didn’t – when I was 15 I was already working in a restaurant as a busboy (lied about my age). His being extroverted and oppositional is a challenge for Kristal and me, as we were both introverted and compliant growing up.

I don’t expect to be his buddy, nor do I want to, yet we need to keep the line of communication open and keep him in line. It’s a tough balancing act but nothing new for the parents of teenagers. I hope with going to middle school and his ability to make friends that we have found an incentive to help keep him in line: behave or lose access to friends after school. We’ll see …